OldSoul.blog

Some years back, Louis Vuitton ran an ad on TV that featured people travelling through some exotic locations – misty forests, bustling cities, sparkling seas, dusty deserts, meandering motorways – and concluded with the question: Does the person create the journey, or does the journey create the person?

It’s a profound question, and one that has particular relevance for me as I write from my caravan on the mid-north coast of NSW.  I’m in a reflective mood, due partly to the travel and to the gentle patter of the rain on the caravan roof, but due also to the conjunction of a range of recent global and personal events: the celebration of All Saints Day (Nov 1), the outcome of the USA Presidential election (Nov 6), the marking of Remembrance Day (Nov 11), watching the thanksgiving service for the life of a long-term family friend (Nov 12), and the approaching fourth anniversary of my father’s death. The question that emerges for me from that eclectic mix is about the building of legacies.

Life is a journey, a wondrous journey that brings a variety of opportunities and experiences and engages us in a multiplicity of relationships and networks. The way we travel that journey, how we deal with the ups and downs, the twists and turns, how we treat those we meet along the way, determines, to a large extent, the degree to which our life is fulfilling for us and meaningful to others – the degree to which our life matters.  Some people tromp through life with little awareness of the things around them and little regard for the people they encounter. Others tread more gently, savouring the beauty of creation, nurturing relationships, treating other people with respect, and paying attention to the myriad mysteries along the way.

In this article I want to invite you to affirm that it does matter how you make the journey, to reflect on the grace and generosity of those with whom you take that journey, and to consider (without being too morbid) the legacy you are building: how will you be remembered when you are gone?

I’m at an age where I do find myself wondering how I will be remembered. Not so much about what accomplishments might be memorable, but rather about what character traits and qualities my family and friends will recall about me. What will they say about me when I’m gone!?  I know how I would like people to remember me! That list of the fruits of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22 would be acceptable: love, joy, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

But I know that this is not always how people experience me! In fact, I know all too well that sometimes people experience me in ways I hope they don’t remember! But then, that’s OK too, because I am who I am. I remember hearing the former Bishop of Sale, Arthur Jones, say, at the age of 85, that he had finally come to the point in life where he could affirm that he was who he was meant to be. I thought that would be a great place to be, and was wondering what I might need to do to get to that point in my own life, when he explained that it had little to do with age or change or goal-setting, but everything to do with coming to the realisation that at every stage of his life he was who he was meant to be! Not the end product, but simply the person he was, and that was who he was ‘meant’ to be at that point in time.

Thinking about the saints I have known and loved I see this is true: they were simply who they were – they weren’t perfect, they were just themselves, and I loved them for it. The people I admire most, and learn most from, are those who feel free to simply be themselves, who are comfortable in their own skin, who recognise their flaws and foibles and are on a continuing journey of formation.

Sometimes we try too hard to be who or what we think we should be. Let it go – just relax and be you. It is enough, and it is good! Sure, we’ll stuff up sometimes, but that’s who we are: we’re human, we’re imperfect, and that’s OK. Of course, how we deal with the stuff-ups, how we learn from them and recover from them, how we resolve the implications of them, does matter. But we do not need to be defined by the stuff-ups. We can acknowledge them, be informed by them, and move on to be who we really, deeply are.

And who is that? Well, it’s my belief that we are, essentially, people formed in the image of the Creator Spirit, people in whom a spark of that Spirit is deeply embedded. And, even more, that by grace that Spirit is working with and within me, to the extent that I am open to it, to help form me into a person who just might come to reflect those fruits of the Spirit. And I sort of like to think that I might be remembered for at least some of those things!

Yes, I’ll continue to have moments when I know that I have not been true to my own prayers, my own yearnings; moments when the qualities of the Spirit are lost amidst words like “You’re a dickhead, umpire!”  But then the Spirit deep within me will quietly and gently remind me that that is not who I want to be, and together, the Spirit and me, we’ll get on with the job of building a beautiful legacy!

How will I be remembered? What will people say about me when I’m gone? Well, thankfully, the jury is still out on that question because the journey is ongoing. But despite the obvious flaws, I think it’s going OK.

I’m pretty confident that’s true for you too!

David Brooker (12^th November 2024)

 

Optional Extra: A Reflective Practice for all the Saints

If you have another 7 minutes or so you may like to read on and share in this reflective practice. Find a comfortable location and position and take a few deep breaths to centre your being before you begin. Move through the practice at your own pace, pausing, breathing, attending to the thoughts and feelings that come and go whenever you feel to do so.

 

Let us begin.

• Call to mind some of the people – living or dead – who have been significant in your life. You may dare to proclaim them as your ‘saints’, and to affirm again that they matter to you. These are the people whose love, acceptance and encouragement you treasure. These are the people whose resilience, grace and courage you honour. These are the people whose spirit lives on through the influence they have had upon you.

Bring these people to mind, hold their names in your heart, perhaps even dare to speak their names aloud. If it is feasible and appropriate, you may like to light a candle or hold a symbol as their names come to mind. Sit for a moment and feel yourself surrounded by these, your saints. 

 

• Now bring your focus to one of the people you have been holding in your heart, one of your personal saints. Picture them. Thank them for all they have contributed to your life. Listen to what they might be saying to you. Send love and kindness their way as you continue to hold them in your heart.

Repeat this process for as many of your saints as you feel appropriate.

 

• The experience and expression of gratitude is good for the soul. So, take a moment before you conclude to simply bask in gratitude. For whom or what are you grateful on this day? What are the things about yourself for which you can be grateful? What within you might others be grateful for?

Allow the experience and expression of gratitude to wash over you as you take a few deep breaths. Don’t question or second guess your impulsive movement toward gratitude, simply accept it and receive it. Don’t judge or evaluate your gratitude in any way, simply experience it and express it – to those others who come to mind, and to yourself as you give thanks for being who you are.